I'm never at a loss for stories and, while I post most of them on Facebook, a lot of people have suggested that I start some sort of a blog or something so I can keep track. I tell them, "Hmm, a blog, huh? Sounds geeky. Get away from me, nerd!"
They are pretty good stories, so if you'll indulge me, I'll share the good ones right here on ROATM.
Kid 2's Best Day
When it comes to creating a scene, our 3 year old is unmatched. He has stopped mass with one of his screams. He almost evacuated a sporting goods store by attempting to pull the fire alarm. You know...normal 3 year old boy stuff. A few weeks ago, he was in prime form.
We are at church and we almost get to the Our Father. For us Catholics, we call that "The Home Stretch". Anyhow, when we all get up to say the Our Father, Kid2 decides that he has to go poop.
"Daddy, I have to go poop."
"Not now Charlie. Besides, you don't have to go poop. You just want to get out of church."
"Daddy, (louder and slower) I. Have. To. Go. Poop!!"
All around us, people are snickering. Quite honestly, we've done this drill before and it is pretty damn funny. I pick him up and we go to the back of the church. Usually, when he gets a different view of everyone, he forgets about his imaginary digestive issues. We're at the part where we're all kneeling and it's really quiet.
Quiet + Kid2 = bad
Kid 2 pulls open my shirt, looks down and says:
A) "You have boobies, daddy."
B) "Where's your penis?"
C) "I HAVE TO GO POOP!!!!"
Part 2, tomorrow.